I’m a shadow of my former pole glory. The version of me now would get my butt kicked by last summer's version of me.
When I was last on stage I was well-trained, fit, ready, and mentally prepared. This week when I shot a demo video with The Knockingbird I was everything but that. I think I can be completely honest with you and you’ll understand where I’m coming from.
I haven’t poled and I was not ready for a “stage.” Even if it was a 1 minute demo.
My body is a new shape, my muscles are smaller, my skin is soft, I get side cramps walking around the block, my mental toughness has been to the moon and back in the past few months, and the most debilitating is the random bouts with depression.
With everything I normally put into performing I am not in that space.
But this short filming session breathed something into me I haven’t felt for 12 months.
The love of pole.
I truly forgot how pole dance makes me feel. I forgot that it’s not only me who loves it, my body loves is, my spirit loves it, my soul craves it’s freedom and expression.
Performing, even for 3 people was so gratifying. My heart has been longing for connection for months and pole gives me that.
When I left I was smiling. When I drove home I was giddy. I chatted with my parents and my husband with no underlying anxiety and without rushing to end the conversation. I even used a power drill for the first time! (That’s a whole other story!)
We’re all here, here on this blog, because we love pole. At some point it captured more than your will to want a fun workout. We all stayed with it because something about it filled us. Maybe you have forgotten that feeling just like I did.
I want to tell you. It still exists. That memory you have of the joy of pole. It’s real.
You may not feel ready, you may not have touched a pole, you may have forgotten everything you’ve ever learned. But at the Pole Presentational we’ve never been about the hardest tricks.
We want you to come as you are.
But don’t leave as you came